Week 2 Predictions

Posted by: Unbiased Reporter on 2011-03-13 12:42:48
Week 2 Predictions

For the record, I - Gregor - have nothing to do with "The Greek." I don't even know who it is. These are just good enough entertainment that I decided to copy them from the comments to a separate news article.

Black Hole 2

Gan Green 1


A dazzling matchup between two teams hoping to avoid the relegation zone. Both teams are on the rebound after being stuck in the WTF zone last week. Seems thats what everybody said when they saw the rosters. The Gan Green attack comes out humming with 3 additional players which apparently didnt show last week. The Green skipper immediately puts these guys to use on the field making the game a 10 vs 7 contest. Green played 7 vs 6 last week, so what the heck. Greens formation is a revolutionary 4-1-5 with its talisman Nabil in the center. Primary tactic is pass to the center, observe dribbling, see where the shot or clearance goes, retrieve, and repeat. Black defends like gangbusters with Brian Joynt marking man to man and Fickler giving head to every Green shot within ten yards of goal. Black, however, is fielding a weakened side since keeper virtuoso Chuck Kim was asked to sit amid transfer rumors (Black is now asking for 3 keggers) and star defender Darryl Wolfe is hobbled from last weeks run in with a Red Rocket. Nabil breaks through with a shot (if it was anyone else we would call it a pass) that finds Chris Reeves on the run whose follow-up is headed by Fick onto the ever-sliding feet of Kenworth back in to the Black net. Black rebounds in the second half with an attacking game plan. All 7 Black players are sent into the attacking third with orders to inform the Green keeper that Kevin M is playing on field 5 and the game is close. This diversionary tactic works as the Green skipper cant contain his excitement and goes to take a look. Kevin B and Keith H immediately remove balls from under their shirt and throw them into the Green net. The referee takes a look up from his IPhone and realizes that two goals have been scored while he was checking out the latest Maxim centerfold. Realizing hes been hoodwinked, the Green skipper files papers for a defamation lawsuit at the games conclusion. To be continued


Red Rockets 5

Burnt Orange 5


Title hopefuls clash in an early season contest. The Red Rockets feel confident of their chances until the referee graces the pitch. Seems Sir Paul Cuthbert passed the referees exam last winter and will be taking charge of his first Over 30 match. Red starts out with a handful of chances only to be stumped by a series of diving stops from last weeks Man of the Match Gregor and offside calls by ref Cuthbert. Red seems to be running out of attacking options against the Oranges if we cant catch you, we will knock you over defense perfected by Bulldog and Kevin J. Until Red Rocket defensive CEO Chase comes up with a plan. He informs the Red skipper that since Paul is wearing his Red England Jersey to referee they should pass the ball to him. Paul wont be able to resist the opportunity to brag about scoring goals as a referee, Chase says. Reluctantly, Kevin M agrees that the plan is brilliant and puts it into full effect. Paul is in magnificent form volleying home 5 goals to Gregors amazement. However, at the half Orange fears no deficit as their comeback plan goes in motion. Orange has developed a potion consisting of a bottle of tequila provided by Gus and prescription hallucinogens supplied by Iyad. The potion was added to the ingredients of the Red Rockets halftime snack by a secret agent who infiltrated Jennifers bakery. Red devours its traditional halftime refreshments with enthusiasm and invites Paul for a bite to reward his contributions. Orange needs only minutes at the start of the second half to take advantage. Iyad dribbles through finding Chris N for the first goal, Gus finds Thomas for goal 2, and Koutz completes the Orange comeback with a hat trick. Meanwhile, Kevin M realizes Paul looks dapper in uniform and agrees to meet him later for a spot of tea while Chase and Lallo continue to admire the pink elephant parade in the sky. Suddenly Ming realizes that he usually only feels this way on Friday nights and becomes wise to the Orange plan. He rushes over to the Red goal and valiantly makes up for the previous week by deflecting all Orange shots until time expires.


Wutang Tan 3

Blue Moon 4


A matchup between teams motivated by the fact they do not want to be associated with Green or Black at the bottom of the table. Team captains actually try to negotiate a tie during pregame to avoid such a travesty but are forced to play to satisfy the 3 fans in attendance. Blue starts off the game by trying to kick the ball off of Tan players to create set plays attempting to take advantage of their tall trio Juan, Nick M, and Mike H. This plan backfires as the Tan skipper orders Ched onto Russs shoulders to create an unstoppable defensive force on set plays. Tan counters with some quick one-two work between Tripp and Dale to put three balls by the Blue skipper while he is considering tactical adjustments. Blue seems lost on offensive options when Juan, realizing Tan failed to draft a keeper, takes matters into his own hands. He begins by launching the 2nd half kickoff into the Tan net. Then he follows with two more goal kicks which he also launches into oppositions net. Tan realizes its worst nightmare is true; there is no goalkeeper to be found. Mark V gets in on the fun to close out the scoring by offering Juan 20 pesos to take the last goal kick of the game. Afterwards, the Tan skipper runs over the Black vs Green game to up his transfer offer for a goalie only to be denied during the approval process by league czar, Kevin B. It is unfair for Black to collect all the beer by selling its players while leaving the rest of us high and dry; especially if I cant buy a striker is the explanation given to the Tan skipper.


Gold Bond 4

Off White 8


The Gold reserves look forward to proving their mettle since their generals absence will likely mean more playing time. However, just prior to game time the Gold team finds out that their skipper has supplied his caretaker manager, Jafar, with a game script. With Jafar also out due to a case of Red Cardosis, the script requires Gold to execute much of the game plan with only 3 players on the pitch. This plan is short-lived since Golds caretaker only lasts 38 seconds into the game before receiving the old heave-hoe. Golds reserves flood the field with fresh legs and a full tank of adrenaline leading the team to a 4 goal lead early in the game with one full volley from 25 yards, a diving header from the 18, and 2 bicycle kicks. At the half, White is unsure of how to stop the gold onslaught until Bill O comes up with a new plan. If we foul them every time they get the ball and then form a wall with Bass, Mike H, and myself how can they score? White talisman Josh agrees the plan may be their only chance. The first three Gold direct kicks of the 2nd half deflect off the appropriately name White House in the Gold net and the game is a contest again. Josh and Dave S take over at the end of the 2nd half after Cesare tempts a short handed and exhausted Gold squad with samples of the new special at his latest restaurant. Five White goals later the game ends as a contest.


The Greek

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Comment's author: geenng08/19/07 05:44:00 PMTo 子青

我不過是做身為學長應該做的 妳是靠妳自己的努力拚出來的 我不過是
請求妳把妳的實力表現出來而已

其實 我因手殘 很多實驗都不能做 不要逼迫其他人幫我做 就是只能
做一樣實驗 PCR ( . )這沒什麼了不起的:p


To A老大

我也是降想 只是旁邊的朋友都覺得我有本錢去把妹卻不努力時 那才會
被煩死

前陣子 有小白在轟趴時爆料讓我跟某位妹間接告白 讓我公開拿好人
卡 現在已經是我們這裡台灣研究生圈子裡的大笑話 我只要在路上見到
認識的人都會被問一遍 很刺激吧 大家幹嘛這麼關心誰和誰亂搞瞎搞
啊 難道生活中沒有更重要的事了嗎 沒關係 就算被當笑話我也不在
乎 大家開心就好

這世界上 有很多事比把正妹重要多了 我要讓你們知道 我就算孤單
可是心靈從來不會空虛的

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